Panties, Panties, Panties

Posted by Austin W. Dallas | 0 Comments

In honor of today being National Sandwich Day, I decided to write a story a friend once told me regarding my favorite sandwich topping...(See title).

I was at a party hanging out with some old friends. We were standing around and bullshitting. People were telling stories about what was going on in their lives and what they had been doing lately. One of my old roommate's was there with his brother. He is one of those great people that has an infectious laugh and you cannot help but to start laughing really hard when he is around. He proceeds to tell me about this concert he was recently at.

Buddy: So, I was at this concert the other night. I had awesome seats which were right by the stage. Throughout the concert I kept looking around and noticing that I was surrounded by hot women, even some not-so-hot-women. My standards are pretty low, so there were probably more hot women to me than for example, you Austin.

Austin: Hey now, why are you calling me out? All women are beautiful in some way. Sometimes you just have to see them naked first before you figure out exactly what that beautiful part is.

Buddy: You see folks, I knew Austin would appreciate my story. The concert rocked. All the bands were excellent. The headliner played one of the best finale's I have ever seen in my life. Then I looked around again and the women started throwing their panties at the band members on the stage. White panties, pink panties, purple panties, black panties, boy shorts, thongs, granny panties, all kinds of panties, some even flashing their lack of even wearing panties. I am standing there thinking to myself… this situation is really not fair to men. I really REALLY enjoyed the concert, too. I wish I had something I could throw at the stage. I thought about it a little more and I decided; F$#k it, I will just throw my own underwear at the stage. What band is not going to love getting a silky smooth pair of my Donut Manties thrown at them? I want to be able to express my joy too. This will allow me to show my true appreciation for the band and really show them how excited they got me.

Austin: Hold on. Wait a second before you continue. Donut Manties? What in the f&^k are Donut Manties?

Buddy: You know...glazed in the front and chocolate in the back.

Austin: (Shooting beer out my nose) You f*&kin’ got me. I was totally into the story, not expecting that to be a joke. Well played sir.

Buddy: Who was joking? I am wearing the same ones tonight since you are here. I was saving them to throw at you at the end of the night.

The Girls That End in "E"

• Courtney if you want to read about a girl who might be from another planet.
• Sandy if you want to read about a girl who Facebook stalks and might time travel.
• Robbie if you want to read about a girl who gave me a red rocket.
• Allie if you want to read about a girl who likes to play dress up.

Tags: Humor, Stories